Week 9 Post 2

The First Solution talks about making a distinction between work and play.  When applying this solution to work and school, I feel that I have made the distinction between both and have allowed for enough leisure time to keep me sane.  I will sometimes procrastinate when it comes to school work, so when making this distinction, I could really focus on becoming better at getting things done in a timely matter to reduce stress levels.  The Second Solution talks about turning work into play.  I feel that I do this with both work and school.  I surround myself with people that can relate to what I'm doing and this makes for a more pleasant time. With papers, I enjoy writing about topics that I'm passionate about and this also helps me stay on track with my assignments.  The Third Solution has to do with accepting the bad with the good.  I know understand that for every day that I don't want to work or every assignment that is extremely hard, there will be one down the road that I will really enjoy.  It's about getting your work done regardless of how you feel and this is my mindset going into work and school.

Week 9 Post 1

After reading the question regarding how I handle anger, I came to the conclusion that I’m someone that usually remains calm during bouts of anger.  In rare instances, I will blow up and express my anger so it is evident to everyone around me that I’m unhappy.  I believe blowups are caused by keeping anger inside and not dealing with the problem.  When dealing with family members and friends, I tend to do this.  Once the amount of pent up anger adds up, a blow up with eventually happen.  If I’m  out in public and someone disrespects me or the people that I’m with, I usually try to remain calm and handle the conflict so that all parties involved leave being happy with the end result.  I will occasionally blow up if things get physical or something totally uncalled for happens.  In the end, I believe that it’s best to confront the person or situation that is making the individual unhappy. That pent up anger could lead to an unfortunate blowup that the individual may later regret.

Week 7 Post 3

The concept that I enjoyed most from chapter 6 this week was the concept of sharing power.  I really enjoyed reading about this idea because it makes a lot of sense to me and is something I see that can really reduce the number of conflicts.  The book stated that people in powerful or dominant positions should consider the idea "we are all in this boat together" (Abigail, p. 107).  This way of thinking could make a positive impact in many different settings.  By sharing power, a person is evening the playing field and making everyone feel more comfortable.  This concept reminded me of a communication project for a class in junior college.  When the project was first assigned, my group immediately split tasks evenly and created a friendly atmosphere.  We completed our project in a timely manner, as we all aimed at completing the goal as a team.  No one was afraid to voice their opinion as there was a sense of comfort between the group.  One of my friends was also in the class and didn't get so lucky.  He had a person in his group that refused to share power and that made people hesitate on contributing.  They turned in their project late and got a reduced grade.   Sharing the power is an important concept that can really help reduce the number of conflicts within a group setting.  

Week 7 Post 2

In relationships such as parent-child, teacher-student, and manager-employee I feel there is an unbalanced power relationship.  In all of these situations the power rests with the first party.  The parent can discipline, the teacher can fail you, and the manager can fire you, despite your efforts to comply with their expectations.   In all of these relationships, I believe having more power on one side is a good thing.  In personal relationships with a significant other, I believe that a unbalanced power relationship is completely unhealthy.  When one side of the relationship has the power, the decisions in the relationships usually come from one person.  The more often that this goes on, the more powerful the one side becomes and the harder it is to correct the problem.  I've been  on the more powerful side of a relationship and looking back, it was unfair to my girlfriend.  She always stayed positive about what we were doing, but I should've given her more of a voice and did more of the things that she wanted to do.

Week 7 Post 1

I have lost trust in someone before.  One of my "best" friends revealed some very personal information about me regarding a relationship with my girlfriend to other students at school.  As soon as these students got wind of the information, it spread like wild fire.  It was more embarrassing for my girlfriend than myself, so I got extremely angry when I found out that he had passed the along the secret to someone else.  At first, my reaction was complete shock.  I couldn't believe such a good friend would do something so stupid to betray me.  When I confronted him about it, I went into the situation thinking that things would turn physical.  I was so angry that I really didn't know what I was going to do.  Once we began talking, or should I say yelling, things started out pretty rough.  Eventually, we were able to talk things out and he apologized to me and posted a Facebook status saying that the information he leaked wasn't true.  I appreciated that, but I was reluctant to tell him anything personal for awhile.  I'm someone who values trust and it is hard to earn it back.  He eventually did, but it took time.

Week 5 Post 3

This week, I felt that the most interesting part of the chapter was the part on the S-TLC system.  It was interesting to read about all the different parts of the system and then picture how I've handled past conflicts.  Overall, I deal with conflict fairly well.  I don't like when people are angry with me, so I do my best to resolve negative issues right away.  In my other post, I stated how important "stopping" is for me during conflict.  Without stopping, it is hard to complete the rest of the system.  By stopping, a person gets a chance to clear their head and are usually able to think straight after the break.  Thinking is also an important part of the system.  This is where I usually dream up my argument and also take into account the thoughts and feelings of the other person.  When it comes to listening, I always give my full, undivided attention to whoever is speaking to me.  Disruption and lack of interest shows complete disrespect.  Finally, after piecing everything together, communication is necessary.  This is where both parties get to say everything that they want in order to try and resolve the conflict.  In conclusion, I chose this system as the most important aspect of the chapter because it directly effects my life.  Like I previously stated, I don't like conflict and this is a big piece of getting everything settled.