Week 5 Post 3

This week, I felt that the most interesting part of the chapter was the part on the S-TLC system.  It was interesting to read about all the different parts of the system and then picture how I've handled past conflicts.  Overall, I deal with conflict fairly well.  I don't like when people are angry with me, so I do my best to resolve negative issues right away.  In my other post, I stated how important "stopping" is for me during conflict.  Without stopping, it is hard to complete the rest of the system.  By stopping, a person gets a chance to clear their head and are usually able to think straight after the break.  Thinking is also an important part of the system.  This is where I usually dream up my argument and also take into account the thoughts and feelings of the other person.  When it comes to listening, I always give my full, undivided attention to whoever is speaking to me.  Disruption and lack of interest shows complete disrespect.  Finally, after piecing everything together, communication is necessary.  This is where both parties get to say everything that they want in order to try and resolve the conflict.  In conclusion, I chose this system as the most important aspect of the chapter because it directly effects my life.  Like I previously stated, I don't like conflict and this is a big piece of getting everything settled.

Week 5 Post 2

When having a conversation with someone, I try to keep steady eye contact and listen to every word the person is saying.  If I feel like I'm getting distracted or start thinking about my own ideas, I'll again check if I'm looking them in the eyes and sort of refocus.  I feel that looking someone in the eyes while they are speaking is a huge sign of respect.  When you do this, it shows that you are really listening to every word that is coming out of their mouth.  After listening to someone speak, I can usually recite what they said pretty easily.  Listening is one of my strengths, especially during a time of conflict.  If I'm ever confused about something that was said, I will always ask questions to have them clarify.  This is helpful and also prevents any additional problems due to the confusion.  Having a clear understanding of what the person said can also help create a very strong counterargument. 

Week 5 Post 1

For me, it really depends who I'm in the middle of a conflict and how severe it is.  If I'm involved in a conflict with someone close to me, it is usually hard for me to stop.  I don't like being mad at the people I care about and try to solve the problem as quickly as I can.  After reading the chapter, I now see how stopping can be an effective tool to help stop an ongoing conflict.  There are times where I can stop and exit the room and come in with a fresh perspective.  For me, leaving the room is the most effective tactic.  I let the person know that I will be right back and basically take a timeout.  This usually helps me gain some composure and also lets the other person calm down as well.  I'm someone that takes things personally, so getting away from the situation for a minute or two is extremely helpful in calming me down and letting me collect my thoughts.

Week 4 Post 3

After completing the reading for Chapter 11, I thought the entire part on mediators was extremely interesting.  I was familiar with the term mediator, but never knew how important one can be during a party conflict.  The author supported my previous statement stating that "although it may seem as though the mediator plays only a minor role, the mere introduction of a third person converts a private affair into a matter of social concern" (p. 197).  I believe that having a mediator present during a party conflict is very important.  They are present with an unbiased view and take in everything that both sides are saying.  It is important for them to keep the mood of the room positive and just being there usually will create a safe environment.  I learned that mediators need to really demonstrate their neutrality to both parties to keep everything flowing smoothly.  The more positive and stable the discussion is, the better chance of the issue being resolved.   Having the certification and skills to sit in as a mediator seems like a valuable life asset and something that should be listed on a resume.

Week 4 Post 2

Fractionation, framing, reframing, and common ground are very solid techniques that are helpful during interpersonal conflict.  When thinking about this question, I applied these techniques to how I look at schoolwork.  When writing an essay, it is sometimes hard to divide all of the information that you have encountered.  With fractionation,  I can break down the more complex issues into smaller ones that will make the paper flow better.  Framing can also be helpful as it helps avoid the passing of judgment or blame.  I can ask myself questions that help summarize issues and that help me remain unbiased on a particular issue.  Reframing is also important when writing an opinionated piece, as this is where the biased statements can be restated in a more "neutral terminology".  Using common ground in an essay format helps the author connect with the audience.  All of these techniques are extremely important when dealing with interpersonal communication but you can also see their importance when you use them in different aspects of everyday life.

Week 4 Post 1

Communication majors would make good mediators because they are constantly learning about people and different situations.  As communication majors, we are constantly learning about listening, understanding and helping others deal with conflicts.  Learning about how to act and understand these different situations would be extremely helpful when being a mediator.  It is easier for someone to not be biased when being used to hearing both sides of the situation and looking at the situation as a whole.  Having that skill puts communication majors ahead of a lot of different professions.  It would be difficult for a lawyer to be an unbiased mediator because they are used to being a part of one of the two sides and defending that particular position.  It would be hard for them to give up what they are accustomed to, hearing both sides.  It would be a similar outcome when dealing with a psychotherapist.  Psychotherapists are used to hearing about different situations yet in the end, they usually side with the victim.  In this instance, it would again be difficult to remain unbiased when that isn't what a person is used to.